What can I say?

I live in the boonies. I live in a place where time seems to roll slowly by. I don’t get newspapers and now wish I had a steady subscription. I woke up this morning in a good mood. Got my kids up and ready for school a little early since I had to go to school as well. Technically, it wasn’t school. It was school bus driver re-certification class.

I dropped the kids off at school and headed to the bus shop to pick up my certificate that goes along with my CDL fully expecting to walk in and see him sitting there at his big wooden desk, crowded by people, and a smile on his face. I walk in the room and I don’t see him there, but I do see Mr. Rudolph. I spoke to him and said my usual greetings. Then I asked him the question that changed my mood from good to bad.

Hey, Mr. Rudolph. Where is Mr. Henry?

He looked down for a second and then his hand moved slowly as he pointed to a new picture on the wall. It was a memorial dedicated to the loving memory of Mr. Henry Williams. I screamed, NOOOOOOO! Putting my hands to my face attempting to hide it, I broke down and cried. I didn’t get my certificate, I left the room. I just couldn’t be in there. I can’t go in there, not yet.

Mr. Henry was my friend. A dear man. A man who was born into slavery briefly, got freedom, had a wild streak, met his wife of whom he loved deeply and adored, found God, and became the kind of man God would want us all to be. He never spoke bad of anyone. If something bothered him or he became angry, he would shake his head and smile. He always calmed down before he spoke, then offered a better way of doing things.

He was easy to talk to, he truly cared and always listened. He offered his advice or opinions. He had a great respect for everyone he came across. He was dedicated to his family, to God, to his church, to his friends, to his job, and to life. He had been fighting high blood pressure and heart problems for a long time. He must have been suffering so God called him home on December 26, 2008.

What’s worse, I just found out. I want to send my sincerest condolences to his family and friends. I know he touched many lives as he did mine. It was an honor to have him in my life and as a friend. I am truly blessed that God allowed me to cross his path. In my own way, I will forever love Mr. Henry, my friend and co-worker.

Rest in Peace Mr. Henry. I know your in heaven watching over all of us. May God Bless Your Family and help your daughter get a cure from cancer. May your families and friends mourning period turn into joy for your life and remember you the way you would want everyone to. I hope to see you again someday on the other side. You will forever be in my heart! I will miss you!

In Loving Memory of Henry Lewis “Gob” Williams
1951-2008

November 24, 2004

I can’t remember what day of the week it was, I guess it may have been a Thursday. To be honest, I don’t like to remember this day. One of my boys was with my husband’s parents and the other was with my step-father. All of my family who could be there was at my Grandparents house. We were there to be with my Grandma.

The whole truth and nothing but the truth……

Three weeks before, to the day, my Grandma was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We were all in shock. She started treatments right away, but it was too late. The cancer spread throughout her body quickly. There were no signs or symptoms. As time progressed, so did the cancer. It got so bad that she could no longer move on her own. Hospice workers now came to her house to help care for her.

We decided to have our Thanksgiving early. We had it that Sunday, November 21, 2004. By this time, there was a hospital bed in where the kitchen table would normally be at and the kitchen table was moved in toward the living room area. Both rooms were open to each other so that was good. It was a good day although Grandma didn’t eat much and it wasn’t the same without her chocolate graham cracker pie. If I would have known that would be the last time I would ever get to talk to her, I would have said more. I’m not sure as to what I would’ve said, but I would have said something. Her last words to me that day were how much she loved me, always did, and always will. Then my family and a few others went home at the request of my Grandpa.

The next day, Grandma wasn’t herself. She went comatose. She stopped moving completely. She stopped talking, wouldn’t look around or anything. Her time was beginning to come to a close. The Hospice people said it wouldn’t be much longer, she won’t move any longer, and to prepare ourselves.

The next day, my mom and Aunt Mildred bathed her again. This time, it was different. Instead of Grandma just sitting still, she lifted her hands to the heavens, she smiled the most beautiful smile of her life, and then she spoke, “I’m coming Jesus, I’m old and I’m slow, but I’m coming Jesus. Wait for me.” Then, her arms fell slowly to her side and she turned her head. She was comatose again. No one can explain the movement she did have and it was unexpected.

My husband and myself made it back down to my Grandparents house on November 24, 2004 and we were going to stay the night as the time was getting closer for her to no longer be with us. The Hospice worker came over and took care of her as usual, but this time was different as well. This time, he said “She is taking her last breaths now. If you want to say your final goodbyes.” I stood there, tears swelling in my eyes, gripping her hand like there was no tomorrow, secretly begging her not to leave me, but saying out loud that it was ok for her to go. Then she was no more.

She was the first person close to me to ever die. My reaction was strange. First, I yelled at the Hospice person telling them to find a better job since they didn’t do theirs by fixing my Grandma, then I couldn’t stand to be touched so I hid in her closet and covered up with her coat, and finally after only tearing up, I thought I had to be strong and brave for my family. I sucked it up and buried my feelings deep inside. I watched as my Grandfather tried to follow the ambulance people out with her on the gurney. She looked like she was sleeping. He kept saying, “It will be ok maw, they will help you, I’m with you maw.” I think that was pretty bad to. Grandpa has never been the same since and I can’t blame him.

I know we all love our Grandparents, but my Grandma was something and someone special. Everyone who knew her,  loved her. I will add a memorial for her soon.